A question by kiddo : Im 16 and ive been living in the same house my whole life. Anyway, my mom came home from work the other day and told me that she and my step father had bought a house, and that they were putting my current house up for sale. I had absolutely no idea that they were even planning on buying a house and I think that it’s extremely unfair that i don’t even get to give my opinion in all this. They already bought the house so they obviously aren’t going to care about what I have to say about it, and I have alot to say. What should i do??
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Do they not consider us intelligent enough to participate in the decision-making process? Why they would do those things is difficult to understand.
That’s a significant purchase, so it’s understandable that you might be annoyed that you weren’t informed in advance. But if it’s not causing you any financial difficulties, I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.
In response to your query, you are absolutely entitled to feel upset.
“You have no choice or say so in the matter since you are 16. You can voice your opinion, but it isn’t going to change anything. You didn’t say why your parents decided to move, so you don’t know if it’s because they cannot afford your current house anymore or if it is for a change in employment.
Get used to the idea that you are moving. Instead of whining, it will be much better for everyone if you act mature and do what you can to help.”
“It would have been nice of them to include you but not in the decision making. That way you could have gotten used to the idea instead of it sounding like an order. Either that or maybe you don’t handle yourself in the best interest of the family. Maybe the hassle of including you would have ruined the experience for them. It’s a big deal to buy a new house and quite the experience. You are already whining and wanting to cause trouble. Grow up and act mature. You have to go so make the best of it and be a help in the move. Since all you want to do is cause trouble, maybe if you were more mature you would have been included. Stop causing trouble and be part of the family and helpful.”
“My wife and I lived in one house for 23 years- it was the only place our 21-year-old daughter had ever lived. I was worried about how she would take it- but I was not going to give her a choice. She would be moving out and going to college- this is not really her house. My Mom and Dad never once talked to us children about their housing decisions except to tell us after they had already committed. I know it is hard when you have lived somewhere your whole life but you really need to calm down and remember that in a very few years you will also be gone and have your own choices to make that will not be controlled by parents or your future children.”
“Well, La De Da, aren’t you a special snowflake. Your mother and her new husband made a decision about where they want to spend the next few of their lives and in about two of those years you won’t even live in this house. Shut up and put up and grow up. Emotional maturity does not come without some hard knocks and some tears and frustration. Suck it up buttercup.”
“They were putting my current house up for sale” It’s THEIR house, not YOUR house.
“it’s extremely unfair that i don’t even get to give my opinion” Of course you are entitled to give your opinion. What you’re not entitled to is a vote.
“They already bought the house so they obviously aren’t going to care about what I have to say about it” Of course they care about your feelings. But your emotions aren’t going to factor into what is, for most people, the largest financial transaction they will ever make.
I’m sorry you’re feeling left out, but there are two people in a marriage, not three. They are the ones responsible for providing housing, managing money, maintaining the home and having all of those responsibilities means they also make the decisions.”
David Lin, Professeur
“You are minor child. A decision to purchase a house does not require input from you. Your parents are not required to ask if you want to move or not. Financial decisions are your parents.
Your parents have reserved this type decision for themselves.
It is your parents responsibility to make sure you are protected, taken care of and mentally a physically. As long as they are doing this they are taking care of their job.
When the time come for you to move you should be prepared to move and do as much as you are able to do to make this a smooth and seamless move.
Once you are an adult you will be able to make a decision as to where you would want to move and the type of place you would want to live.
You might have children, you might want to inform your children of any move you would make and allow their
input before you decide to move.
You might approach your parents to find out why you were not consulted about this move or was informed. In most instances, parents do not consult these things with their children is because of the attitude of the child.”
“It would have been nice to keep you in the loop, but at the end of the day, the decision is theirs and theirs alone. My parents did the same thing when I was a teenager back in the 1970s. One day during dinner my father announced that the house was sold and there were boxes in the garage, so start packing. It was traumatic at the time but, time goes by.”
“You cannot do anything about it. And you can go stay with your grandparents more often on weekends if you don’t like the choice they made of buying the house no matter how nice or ugly it is. In two years you can get a job and start building credit to get your own home. And try not to stay with friends if you mad stay with grandparents. One day you’ll have your own home and your own land. And be able to go watch pro sports games in your local area with your own money.”
“Simple! Start packing your stuff and go along with the program. As of now, you are 16 years behind on your rent. Your input to such decisions is directly proportional to your financial contributions. Unless you change your attitude and accept your position in this world you will grow up to become a spoiled, dependent welfare bum.”
“I know this is a difficult situation, but at the end of the day it is indeed their responsibility to make housing decisions for themselves and for you – until you’re 18. I would recommend the advice of Stephen Covey: Seek first to understand and then to be understood.”