Boyfriend buying house and making me sign contract.?

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A question by :  Hi. My long-term boyfriend wants to buy a house outright with the help of his parents (no mortgage). He initially wanted only his name but has agreed to put my name on the house but I must sign a contract stating I put no money into the house and will pay a proportion of the bills. ?


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Humm.. Unless he wants to and is wealthy, there is no issue. If not, there is a serious issue, and you are aware of what that issue is. What will you do in return for him? Are you assuming that just because he is “fortunate” enough to be your boyfriend, he will purchase you a house? Working on acquiring the ring is your shortcut to getting a house because getting a house usually involves having a ring. Or, place a few children on the ground; they must be your own; you cannot borrow them.


“No one can make you sign the contract. As for the house, if your name is on the deed, you acquire a 50/50 interest in the house and become part owner. No actions (mortgage, sale, etc.) can then take place without your agreement and signature. The problem becomes, however, that as long as you are not married, it becomes very hard to get your portion out of the deal – you can’t make him sell to recover your cash, you can’t make him leave, etc., and the courts will not willingly become involved (you would have to file suit, which means hiring a lawyer, etc.). At least if you get married, the divorce court can step in and establish a fair settlement. BTW, a mortgage does not ensure a genuine stake in the property – your name on the deed does that – all a mortgage does is require you to make payments and undertake an obligation (there is no advantage to that).

I would be more worried about the side deal you have regarding paying bills, cooking, cleaning, etc.”


“There really are good reasons why one should marry first then have a family and buy a house. Marriage is a contractual relationship that protects your rights as an equal partner. You are not being unreasonable. It is to your benefit to be realistic. Do not sign any such agreements with a boyfriend. If you have nothing to contribute financially to the purchase of real estate, how could you be an owner when you are not his wife?”


“1) He isn’t “making” you sign the contract.

2) If you have a low salary, you can’t afford to buy/own/maintain a house. You can be his tenant until you are married.

3) Monthly bills are a part of life whether you are renting or owning. So are cooking and cleaning.

4) Kids come AFTER marriage.

5) Why would he give half the house to you before you are married? Quite frankly, why should you get half the house if you divorce? He paid for it before you were married.

6) Don’t sign ANYTHING until after you’ve taken it to YOUR attorney – not one that he is choosing or paying for.”


“Why do people enter into real estate dealings with people they are not married to, or don’t have a strictly-business contract with? Bostonian in MO is likely right that such a contract would be meaningless. Never sign anything (especially a document that could potentially leave you and your children homeless) without having an attorney review it (not his attorney, YOUR attorney).

It’s not really any of my business, but why are you in a relationship with a man who thinks like this?”


“You cannot have a legal interest in the property unless your name is on the title deed along with his name
as JOINT TENANTS, not tenants in common. Whether you contribute money to the purchase or not, means
nothing. Bills are only maintaining a home and would be paid regardless of where you live.
If you marry and then divorce later, you would be entitled to 50% of the sale of the house.
You cannot consider payingbills,cooking,cleaning,and raising children, an investment in the property.
However, with the attitude he seems to have regarding your duties, most women would be thinking more than
twice before getting involved with someone who is intending on controlling your every move. Don’t plan on
changing him, that will never happen. This is the help you asked for.”


“Will be left with no investment

Doesn’t sound like you are putting anything into the property from an investment point of view. Paying part of the bills is a monthly expense just as if you were renting, you weren’t building any investment doing that. What type of bills is something to discuss? Does he want you to pay a proportion of heating, electric, water, etc.? Property taxes? If it’s needing a new furnace or a new roof, are you expected to pay part of it?

Over and above that
< I’m also irritated that he expects me to cook, clean, pay bills, raise children with this deal. >

Tell your BF to go hire a maid. I would definitely recommend talking to your own lawyer (not his) and see how enforceable it is. Personally, I think this should be sending up a whole bunch of red flags.

From your BF’s point of view, he’s he one putting a big chunk of money into this. Let’s say your break up 2 years from now. He doesn’t want to hand you over a pile of money for something that you haven’t paid into. There as usual, there are two sides to every story.

Let’s imagine that the roles were reversed? You might suddenly see things differently when it was “your” money that you might have to hand off to an ex-BF who now you might think hasn’t really earned it.”


“You’d need to check with a lawyer as to what your rights would be in this instance, but it sounds like the house would be totally his, any appreciation over time would be his and you’d be like a renter, paying utilities.

So if you are comfortable paying your portion of the bills which is reasonable, but with no interest in the home, do it.

If you are irritated that you have to cook, clean, pay bills and raise children, then you aren’t ready for a move in. Those things are done by people though he should of course help.

You aren’t putting any money into the purchase of the house, so you will have no investment.”


I think your bf deliberately wants you to sign the lease agreement. Personal life is different, but the time where it comes to the professional you had to take care of the things. Tell your bf you are ready to sign the contract before that he has to marry you and see what he says. If he is not marrying you, then please don’t sign the contract otherwise you have to suffer.

If your name is on the deed as a joint owner, you have a 50% ownership interest in the home from day one. A “contract” that states that you have not put any money into the home and requires you to contribute to the operating costs would be meaningless from an ownership point of view. If you were to split up, 1/2 of the home would legally be yours and any “contract” that stated otherwise would be legally unenforceable.


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